A towering 6 ft. 7 ins. (201 cm.) forward who started his career as a trainee at Tottenham in 1998. Following two loan spells at Dulwich Hamlet and in Sweden he was sold for £60,000 to QPR in the Second Division where he scored 12 goals in 47 games. He left for Portsmouth in the First Division only a year later and blossomed under the guidance of Harry Redknapp, scoring 18 league goals in his eight months at the club. Premier League's Aston Villa forked out £5 million in March 2002 for his services. However, Crouch failed to impress at Villa and after 43 games and six goals he was sold to Southampton in July 2004 for £2 million. Crouch finally took to life in the Premier League, scoring 12 goals in 27 but couldn't prevent Southampton's relegation. His performances didn't go unnoticed by Sven Göran Eriksson who handed him his international debut. Rafa Benítez fought a powerful campaign with Liverpool's hierarchy to get his player. Crouch famously had considerable trouble in scoring his first goal for the Reds. He finally broke the deadlock with a fluke goal against Wigan on 3 December 2005 when he had played 1,229 minutes without scoring. He added a second against Wigan and scored five more goals in December. After netting the winning goal against WBA on New Year's Eve, Crouch didn't score for another eight games until he knocked Manchester United out of the FA Cup fifth round with a powerful header.

"Had I not become a footballer, I think I would have been a virgin." - Crouch on Sky Sports' Soccer AM.

Crouch gained more confidence in his scoring ability in his second season at Liverpool, but curiously Rafa started him in only 30 games, compared to 42 the previous season. "Crouchinho" had unusual skill for such a tall player and scored two acrobatic goals against Galatasaray and Bolton and a sensational hat-trick against Arsenal in the Premier League on 31 March 2007, scoring with his head, right foot and left foot. Crouch's Anfield future was constantly questioned as the 2007/08 season unfolded with his manager electing to start him in only nine league games, coming on as a substitute a further 12 times. This was a regular, yet, strange occurrence because Crouch was unlikely to make as big an impact from the bench. He still managed to score eleven goals during the season, including the first and last in the 8-0 mauling of Besiktas in the Champions League. It was inevitable that most discussions about Crouch revolved around his height and in that respect he was something of a 'specialist' striker. Fernando Torres' arrival at Liverpool meant that the popular humourist was no longer first choice and Redknapp brought Crouch back to Portsmouth in July 2008. Crouch's second spell on the south coast with Pompey could not be considered a failure as he scored 16 goals in 48 first-team matches. Redknapp left to become Tottenham's new boss and he signed Crouch in July 2009 for £9 million. 

Crouch enjoyed an excellent 2009/10 season with Tottenham, appearing in all 38 Premier League matches but only scoring eight times, including the priceless goal away to Manchester City near the end of the season that ensured Spurs would finish fourth in the table. Crouch continued to be a regular in the England squad under Fabio Capello, just as he had been under his predecessor, Steve McLaren, but despite being so prolific for the international side he was given only two appearances as a late substitute in England's disastrous 2010 World Cup. Curiously, Crouch hasn't featured for England since he scored in a 2-1 defeat to France on 17 November 2010, having scored a total of 22 goals in 42 internationals. Crouch played in 34 Premier League matches for Tottenham in 2010/11 and was very prolific in Europe, scoring seven goals in ten matches. Crouch scored a hat-trick against Young Boys to ensure that Spurs reached the group stage of the Champions League for the first time as well as netting the winner against Milan in Italy in the last 16, but was sent off for two bookable offences early in the first leg of the quarter-final against Real in Madrid. Crouch embarked on yet another adventure when he moved to Stoke on the last day of the 2011 summer transfer window. In his first season at the Britannia Stadium, he scored ten times in 32 Premier League matches and scored the “Goal of the Season” against Manchester City on 24 March 2012 juggling the ball before releasing an unstoppable shot from outside the penalty area. Crouch’s “spidery limbs” have done themselves proud at the highest level against all odds.

Crouch only missed four Premier League matches during his second season with Stoke City and added eight goals to his career total, one of which was in the FA Cup competition. In 2013/14 he continued to be a regular in the Stoke team, appearing in 34 of the 38 Premier League matches and scoring eight times. He added two more goals in four domestic cup-ties. On the last day of 2014/15, he scored the last goal of Stoke's 6-1 win over Liverpool, setting a Premier League record of 47 headed goals surpassing Alan Shearer. It was his tenth goal of the season, justifying Mark Hughes' decision a few months earlier to offer him a two-year contract extension. 2015-26 was frustrating for him however as he fell down the pecking order and made only four league starts. His two goals came in the cups and although he asked to be considered for a move away in January Hughes retained his services as Stoke fought on three fronts.

In November 2017 Crouch set a record for Premier League substitute appearances when he came off the bench for the 143rd time. Although Stoke were relegated to the Championship he remained with them for 2018/19. Twenty-one of his 23 Championship appearances in the first half of that season were as a substitute, so it was a huge surprise on 31 January 2019, a day after his 38th birthday, that Crouch was back in the Premier League by joining Burnley. All six of his appearances between then and the end of the season were from the bench and his spell was also interrupted by appendix surgery.

Although a contract extension at Burnley was on offer, Crouch decided to call time on his playing career in July 2019 and signed a deal to co-present a new weekly Premier League TV show on Amazon Prime alongside John Bishop and Gabby Logan.