Crouch hands out his 2007 awards

It's that time of year again when we ask one of Rafa's squad to dish the dirt on his teammates by handing out a few gongs.
Last year Josemi and Craig Bellamy fell victim to Jamie C's Scouse wit, but this time round we've left it to Crouchie to do the honours.

Look away now, Jermaine...

Player of the year 2007?

I've tried to look for someone else but I don't think I can give it to anyone other than Stevie G. Over the course of the year he's been fantastic for Liverpool.

Young player of the year?

It's a difficult one but, if you look at people who've just come into the squad, you have to say Nabil El Zhar and Jack Hobbs. Jack has definitely improved quite a lot as a player. He looks like he could come in for Sami whenever he's needed.

Most improved player – Carra gave this to you last year?

That was nice of Jamie – I don't know if that was because I was terrible the year before, though. Again, I'd say Jack is the most improved. He's come on loads since the first season and is doing really well now.

Unsung hero?

It's got to be Stevie Finnan. He's consistently been one of our best players all year and I think he would have been one of the contenders for player of the year. He's a very underrated defender and a fantastic player to have in the squad.

Goal of the year?

Xabi's against Newcastle from the halfway line last season was good, and Stevie's got a few contenders as well. I'd have to go for Xabi.

Best team performance of the year?

I'd have to say Marseille away from home where we needed to get a victory. It was extremely important. The big win against Derby we played extremely well, and obviously earlier in the year there was Barcelona in the Nou Camp.

Hardest Liverpool player?

Momo likes to put his foot in, even in training. He's a bit of a rash. Stevie and Carra also like to put tackles in – I'd have to give it to Momo, though.

Best trainer?

Pepe is out there for a long time, he trains well. I can't give it to a 'keeper though, it's easy being a keeper. I'd probably give it to someone like Stevie G, he's as good in training as he is in a match. The worst? Robbie Fowler would have been a contender, as would Didi Hamann, but to be honest we've got a decent squad of trainers now.

Funniest player in the squad?

I'm not sure about that – there's a few characters and the banter is always good. Jermaine makes a few people laugh – he'd be right up there with Carra and Pepe. Jermaine has a go – he's always loud in the changing rooms and up to a few tricks.

Is it his jokes?

Oh no, he's not funny. We're probably laughing more at him than with him.

Funniest moment of the year – last time it was when Pepe did a goal kick in training and it hit Rafa and knocked him to the floor?

[Cracks up] That was funny. One of the funniest was watching Smally (club masseur Paul Small) when the coaching staff played Spanish v English out on the indoor/outdoor pitch. Him with his boots on pulling the strings in midfield was funny.

Nicest member of the squad?

There's a load of good lads. Jack is a nice bloke, Sami (Hyypia) is a good lad, but I'd probably go for Danny Agger. He's quite strong on the pitch but a great lad off it.

Who are your ideal and nightmare roommates?

We mix it up a bit but I've had Stevie Finnan quite a bit. He was all right – no bad habits. The nightmare one is easy – Pennant. He goes to bed late and can't get up in the morning. I remember having to wake him up a few times. I've had to shake him to get him down for breakfast. He's said to me a couple of times, 'I'm not coming, I'm not coming'. I've had to physically get him up. He's a good lad and a laugh but not as a roommate.

Who would you want on your pub quiz team?

If it was about football, definitely Carra - all day. He knows everything about the game. General knowledge is a struggle. Maybe Benayoun. I think Yossi could take care of himself. He's one of the cleverest in the squad.

Who wouldn't you want on your pub quiz team?

I'm killing Pen here but I can't look past him. It's got to be him, Jermaine.

Who's the biggest moaner in the team?

It's Carra - that's easy. He's a winner on the pitch and organises us. Stevie is captain but Carra runs him close. He likes a moan at the coaching staff and the players. Him and the kit man Graham are the biggest moaners. They don't get together, no, but if you ask Graham for a shirt or a piece of kit he looks at you as if you've killed someone. And that's the kit man!

Worst hair cut?

Carra mentioned me last year but there's no way it's me. I'm quite pleased with my barnet at the minute. Some of the new signings are horrendous. Andriy (Voronin) has to be right up there with his ponytail. We've told him it'll be off by the end of the season but he's extremely pleased with his pony – there's no way he'll cut that off. Leto and Lucas have both come in and spend a lot of time on their hair – some of the new signings this year have been woeful, hairdressing-wise.

Do you see them all looking in the mirror all the time?

The mirror is quite a busy place at the minute. Fernando is there quite a lot, but I have to give the worst haircut to Voronin.

Best dancer – again this was you last year?

I've done karaoke a few times with the boys and I always like to incorporate a few moves into my repertoire. I can't really see beyond myself. No one is taking my mantle this year.

Best dresser?

Since I've caned Jermaine quite a bit I think I'll give it to him. He's quite a snappy dresser. Momo also has a few items in his wardrobe. There's a lot of colours involved in Momo's clothes, and a few diamonds.

Worst dresser?

Djibril Cisse has left the club now. Just this morning, and I haven't said anything to him yet, Alvaro (Arbeloa) came in wearing a red, leathery puffer jacket. For that alone, he gets this award. I'll be speaking to him after training about that item.

Vainest player?

That's difficult. If you are looking at time spent in front of the mirror, Lucas is a contender.

Best taste in music?

Stevie's had his iPod on in the dressing room lately and I've been really pleased with the mix he's had. He'd get the award for best taste. Obviously he had recent stuff like Timberland and a bit of Justin Timberlake, but then he had a few Eighties numbers, which I'm a big fan of.

A bit of Wham?

[Laughs] Yeah, well not quite Wham, but a few old-school ones that I can't quite think of now.

And the worst?

A lot of people would say Babel 'cos he's been putting his rap on in the changing rooms, but I quite like it to be honest. If it was the general consensus you were after, it'd be Ryan.

Toughest opponent of the year?

I've played against John Terry and I'd have to say him and Rio Ferdinand are the toughest to play against. I think that when they're fit they make a fantastic partnership for England.

Best away fans?

Ours are fantastic when we go away in Europe but if you're talking about fans who come to our place, I think Newcastle bring a load and they're quite vocal. Away from home they are very loud.

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