Articles
I cried. For the first time, I cried
Losing that FA Cup final, against Manchester United in 1996, when I was at Liverpool, was the most profoundly depressing experience I have ever had. When I came off the field I remember being in shock. We had been expected to win. A whole summer stretched before us with nothing to look forward to. At least when you lose a game in the league there's another one along in a week -you can re focus. I spent that summer with my head up my arse. I couldn't accept it was only a game. All I could think was, 'Why didn't I?', 'Why didn't we?'
I've been in two FA Cup finals, with Liverpool and Aston Villa, and lost both . What do I remember most? The two goals I let in.
Every footballer wants to win the FA Cup. It starts at youth level - you want to join that elite band of players who have won both the FA Youth Cup and the FA Cup. In 1988, with Watford, I helped win the FA Youth Cup. It was official, we were the best team in the country. Wow. We beat Manchester City in the final, 2-1 over two legs. Rod Thomas, the next Pele at the time, scored the winner and we each got a £25 bonus, about a week's wages then.
When I won the League Cup with Liverpool in 1995, I remember celebrating back at the hotel in St Albans. We were stood in the bar, everyone messing around. We were like kids, ripping each others' suits. You'd say, 'Well done mate', stick your hand in their shirt pocket and rip it off . But the celebrations were cut short as three days later we were playing our next league game.
When we reached the FA Cup final the following year it was a great feeling. It was my first time at the final as a player. In the build-up, the pre-Wembley sideshow, you get dozens of phone calls about tickets as everyone comes out of the woodwork, and you have to draw up a shortlist of 30. The media want to do quirky FA Cup stories every other day - and then there's the suits to arrange.
Let me put the record straight: the suits were not my idea. We were having the discussion and someone said : 'Jamo, you know Giorgio Armani.' I got them a phone number and that was as far as my involvement went. Armani brought in the colour swatches and the club captain was in charge of FA Cup attire. Personally I was so excited about going to the Cup final I would have gone in a plastic bag. Saying that, I did think the white suits looked good and I maintain to this day that had we won we would have been known as the best-dressed FA Cup winners ever.
On the day of the final everything is different to a normal match, your usual rhythm is all messed up. You get there early to walk around on the pitch and wave to friends and family. With the history between the Liverpool and Man United boys I remember there being a stand-off and none of the players spoke to each other. Then we lost - a late Eric Cantona goal from a corner we shouldn't have conceded.
You get your runners-up medal and then you're supposed to do a lap of honour for the fans. Well I got to the halfway line and went in. I was fuming. That evening a few of the lads went out on the town, but I couldn't. I just sat in my hotel room. I couldn't understand how anybody could go out after something like that. The next day we had to do this open-top bus tour of Liverpool and it was awful - everyone on the bus was miserable.
With Villa it was never so painful. With Liverpool, everyone had expected us to win, the fans were used to going to Wembley. When I first joined the club I remember one of the backroom staff saying to me: 'You'll probably be going to Wembley again this year.' But with Villa the last time they'd won the FA Cup was in 1957. I'd walk down the street and all these old blokes would come up to me and wish me luck - the last time they had been to the final they'd been kids. Of course we all wanted to win, but you got the feeling it was also a grand day out for the whole community and that was just as important.
I had a terrific feeling leading up to the final. The semi-final against Bolton had been awesome. It went to a penalty shoot out and I saved a couple. Then, about a week before the match, I got a call from Ray Clemence in the England camp. I had made the squad for Euro 2000. I was over the moon. Then came the 'but'. Ray said I wouldn't be in the travelling party. 'Well done, but you're not going.' It was one of the worst phone calls I've had. I felt deflated. It wasn't good preparation for the Cup final. My head wasn't right .
Having been so confident we would win, we were poor and conceded a soft goal. Paul Baron, the goalkeeping coach, put his arm round me at the final whistle and I cried. I'd never cried at a football match before and I never thought much of the players who did. But I couldn't help myself that day. We'd worked so hard to get there, and then there was the history - the 43 years that the fans had waited. The following day we had the open-top bus again and this time I was asked to get up on stage and speak to the fans. I was choked. Why would they want to hear from me? I had let in a poor goal and been hammered by the newspapers. But they listened and I was touched.
After those two disappointments I'm still waiting for the win, especially now the game is back at Wembley. The new stadium looks awesome, you drive anywhere in west London and you can see the arch. The whole of football is excited about it. I want to get there again. I've even contemplated entering the Umbro five-a-sides tournament. Yes, it's for amateurs only, but I could take a pay cut...
The other day I got out my FA Youth Cup medal. Stamped across the front it says 'WINNERS' in capital letters. It's lovely. I am a classic 'collecty' type, but I never kept the Liverpool finalists' medal. For me it may as well have said, 'LOSERS'. I have no idea what happened to it - I probably left it in the dressing room that day. From the Villa game I kept the grass from the studs. Well, it was the last FA Cup final at Wembley. I've still got it somewhere, all dried up, a piece of Wembley history.
And I've still got both suits. The white one had some use after all. Ian Wright roped me into a charity cricket match a few years back and I needed some white trousers. It's still hanging in my wardrobe, with a few added grass stains on the knee.
David James has donated the fee for this column to the PFA Benevolent Fund
Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2007
I've been in two FA Cup finals, with Liverpool and Aston Villa, and lost both . What do I remember most? The two goals I let in.
Every footballer wants to win the FA Cup. It starts at youth level - you want to join that elite band of players who have won both the FA Youth Cup and the FA Cup. In 1988, with Watford, I helped win the FA Youth Cup. It was official, we were the best team in the country. Wow. We beat Manchester City in the final, 2-1 over two legs. Rod Thomas, the next Pele at the time, scored the winner and we each got a £25 bonus, about a week's wages then.
When I won the League Cup with Liverpool in 1995, I remember celebrating back at the hotel in St Albans. We were stood in the bar, everyone messing around. We were like kids, ripping each others' suits. You'd say, 'Well done mate', stick your hand in their shirt pocket and rip it off . But the celebrations were cut short as three days later we were playing our next league game.
When we reached the FA Cup final the following year it was a great feeling. It was my first time at the final as a player. In the build-up, the pre-Wembley sideshow, you get dozens of phone calls about tickets as everyone comes out of the woodwork, and you have to draw up a shortlist of 30. The media want to do quirky FA Cup stories every other day - and then there's the suits to arrange.
Let me put the record straight: the suits were not my idea. We were having the discussion and someone said : 'Jamo, you know Giorgio Armani.' I got them a phone number and that was as far as my involvement went. Armani brought in the colour swatches and the club captain was in charge of FA Cup attire. Personally I was so excited about going to the Cup final I would have gone in a plastic bag. Saying that, I did think the white suits looked good and I maintain to this day that had we won we would have been known as the best-dressed FA Cup winners ever.
On the day of the final everything is different to a normal match, your usual rhythm is all messed up. You get there early to walk around on the pitch and wave to friends and family. With the history between the Liverpool and Man United boys I remember there being a stand-off and none of the players spoke to each other. Then we lost - a late Eric Cantona goal from a corner we shouldn't have conceded.
You get your runners-up medal and then you're supposed to do a lap of honour for the fans. Well I got to the halfway line and went in. I was fuming. That evening a few of the lads went out on the town, but I couldn't. I just sat in my hotel room. I couldn't understand how anybody could go out after something like that. The next day we had to do this open-top bus tour of Liverpool and it was awful - everyone on the bus was miserable.
With Villa it was never so painful. With Liverpool, everyone had expected us to win, the fans were used to going to Wembley. When I first joined the club I remember one of the backroom staff saying to me: 'You'll probably be going to Wembley again this year.' But with Villa the last time they'd won the FA Cup was in 1957. I'd walk down the street and all these old blokes would come up to me and wish me luck - the last time they had been to the final they'd been kids. Of course we all wanted to win, but you got the feeling it was also a grand day out for the whole community and that was just as important.
I had a terrific feeling leading up to the final. The semi-final against Bolton had been awesome. It went to a penalty shoot out and I saved a couple. Then, about a week before the match, I got a call from Ray Clemence in the England camp. I had made the squad for Euro 2000. I was over the moon. Then came the 'but'. Ray said I wouldn't be in the travelling party. 'Well done, but you're not going.' It was one of the worst phone calls I've had. I felt deflated. It wasn't good preparation for the Cup final. My head wasn't right .
Having been so confident we would win, we were poor and conceded a soft goal. Paul Baron, the goalkeeping coach, put his arm round me at the final whistle and I cried. I'd never cried at a football match before and I never thought much of the players who did. But I couldn't help myself that day. We'd worked so hard to get there, and then there was the history - the 43 years that the fans had waited. The following day we had the open-top bus again and this time I was asked to get up on stage and speak to the fans. I was choked. Why would they want to hear from me? I had let in a poor goal and been hammered by the newspapers. But they listened and I was touched.
After those two disappointments I'm still waiting for the win, especially now the game is back at Wembley. The new stadium looks awesome, you drive anywhere in west London and you can see the arch. The whole of football is excited about it. I want to get there again. I've even contemplated entering the Umbro five-a-sides tournament. Yes, it's for amateurs only, but I could take a pay cut...
The other day I got out my FA Youth Cup medal. Stamped across the front it says 'WINNERS' in capital letters. It's lovely. I am a classic 'collecty' type, but I never kept the Liverpool finalists' medal. For me it may as well have said, 'LOSERS'. I have no idea what happened to it - I probably left it in the dressing room that day. From the Villa game I kept the grass from the studs. Well, it was the last FA Cup final at Wembley. I've still got it somewhere, all dried up, a piece of Wembley history.
And I've still got both suits. The white one had some use after all. Ian Wright roped me into a charity cricket match a few years back and I needed some white trousers. It's still hanging in my wardrobe, with a few added grass stains on the knee.
David James has donated the fee for this column to the PFA Benevolent Fund
Guardian Unlimited © Guardian News and Media Limited 2007
